The Search For Mickey Mouse
by YensidR
Summary: *Chapter 10 is up* Woohoo, Jessica Rabbit sure is hot isn't she? Anyways, yeah, R/R. You won't regret it, I promise!
1. PrologueMidnight Madness

The Search For Mickey Mouse Well folks, here's my first attempt at writing fan fiction. Here goes nothing. I wrote it in screenplay format because I envisioned the whole thing as a movie. Please R/R! No flames. The story takes place in the Fantasmic Kingdom, a place where all the Disney characters exist together.  
  
Cast: Mickey Mouse Basil Donald Duck Goofy Merlin Alice Minnie Mouse Donald Duck Maleficent Hades Jessica Rabbit Hercules Megara Roger Rabbit Lady Titania Lord Oberon Many, many more (just listed the ones that are important throughout the whole story)  
Prologue:  
  
Basil: The name's Basil. I'm a private detective. You probably don't know me, and I can safely say I don't know you. And yet you say you want to know my story. Well.... It's going to take awhile. First, let me give you some background information on myself. I used to be a prominent agent for the TTPD, or the Toontown Police Department. No, I don't work there anymore. I resigned. Why? Because I failed my department, and myself. About 20 years ago, there was this little rabbit. His name was Oswald. He was the wealthiest citizen in our kingdom until Mickey came along. Then one morning, his servants in his mansion called us and reported him missing. I still think the villains took him, but regardless, we never found the poor rabbit. I'm afraid nobody ever will. So, anyway, back to Mickey. Yes, I'm sure you all know the great Mickey Mouse do you not? Well, this is his story, and my story too. I call it...  
  
THE SEARCH FOR MICKEY MOUSE!  
  
Chapter 1: Midnight Madness  
  
Basil: I'll start off quite a ways before I come into the story. I suppose you could say the events leading up to the kidnapping began at Cinderella's Royal Ball. Anybody who was anybody showed up at this annual gathering (I didn't come, still slightly ashamed to show my face in public after my failure.) The villains, of course, were not invited and were quite upset. Numerous threats had been made to invade the ball and destroy Mickey and the Princesses at midnight. Naturally, the Fantasmic Kingdom Royal Guard and the TTPD, all under control of Sergeant Donald Duck, had surrounded the castle to prevent any attack from the villains. We pick up our story at 11:30 pm, approximately one half hour before the proposed attacks.......... the Royal Orchestra, under the direction of Maestro Ludvig VonDrake, is playing "So This Is Love" while the happy couples waltz on the dance floor)  
  
Mickey: (on the side to Minnie) May I have this dance, m'lady?  
  
Minnie: (giggles) Why certainly!  
  
(They join the dance. Meanwhile, on the dance floor...)  
  
Kuzco: (to Jasmine, his partner) Well, aren't you quite the royal hot one tonight.  
  
Jasmine: (rolls eyes)  
  
(the waltz finishes playing and everyone leaves the floor. The orchestra starts playing "Sabre Dance". Meanwhile...in a corner of the ballroom.....)  
  
Beast: Belle, you look lovely this evening.  
  
Belle: Thank you. You look very nice yourself.  
  
Beast: *Ahem* Belle, there's been something I've been meaning to tell you...something really important....  
  
Belle: What is it?  
  
Eilonwy: Belle, can you come here for a minute?  
  
Belle: Coming! (to Beast) I'll be back in a minute.  
  
Beast: *sigh* What's the use? I'll never be brave enough to tell her how I feel. She'll never love me and I know it.  
  
(On the other side of the room.....)  
  
Kuzco: So, Jassie babe.... want some punch?  
  
Jasmine: (fake smile) Sure.  
  
Kuzco: (walks off)  
  
Jasmine: (to Sultan) Father, I don't know how you expect me to fall in love with him. What are you thinking?!  
  
Sultan: Jasmine, I know this may not seem right now, but give him a chance. Please. It would make my life a heck of a lot easier.  
  
Jasmine: Why is it so important to you that I'd marry him?! You know, I think I'd be better off with Jafar!  
  
Sultan: Now, don't say that. I wouldn't want you to marry him if it weren't for his position. He's one of the most powerful rulers in all of the land. If you married him, it would be the best investment we could make! The two most powerful kingdoms in Fantasmicasia uniting through the bonds of eternal love!  
  
Jasmine: But I don't LOVE him.  
  
Sultan: Jasmine, you know I want you to be happy, but we have to think about the kingdom.  
  
Jasmine: (in her head) Why can't I just marry that boy I met in the market. What was his name...Aladdin?  
  
(in another corner of the ballroom)  
  
Kiara: So, how is the future Mrs. Timon Berkawitz?  
  
Tatiana: (smiles) Wonderful. I love Timon. He's so charming and sweet and...  
  
Timon: (coming back from buffet table) Who wants hors'deorves?  
  
Tatiana: Oh me! Me!  
  
Nala: (to Simba) I'm so glad they're finally getting married. They're so perfect for each other.  
  
Simba: (smiles) Yeah, reminds me of someone else we know. (they nuzzle one another.  
  
Kiara: Eww! Mom! Dad! Stop, you're grossing me out!  
  
Simba: I just hope Scar and Zira don't ruin it for them...  
  
(In yet another corner of the room)  
  
Mickey: Hold on dearest, I'll be right back.  
  
Minnie: Okay. (Mickey runs off)  
  
(Cinderella and Goofy are standing nearby)  
  
Goofy: Ahyuck! Gawrsh Cinderella, the ball is going great!  
  
Minnie: I must agree, this is the best ball in years!  
  
Cinderella: Why, thank you, thank you very much. I think the newly enforced security is the best part. I guess we shouldn't have worried about those silly threats from the villains after all!  
  
Goofy: I sure hope not. And if they show up, they'll be sorry. Donald's got his best soldiers on the job. (the orchestra plays the Chicken Dance and he runs out to the dance floor)  
  
Minnie: Cin, I'm worried about Mickey. He's so tense.  
  
Cinderella: Probably just the stress that comes with the title. You know, it's not the easiest job in the world being King of the Fantasmic Kingdom.  
  
Minnie: You're probably right. (Changing the subject intentionally) Who made the apple cobbler? It's absolutely delightful.  
  
Cinderella: You know, I'm not quite sure of that myself. An old crone in a black cloak showed up this afternoon and gave it to me. I could have sworn she looked familiar...  
  
Minnie: Very interesting...well, she's an excellent cook! Well, I want to know how you kept the buffet table full all night. I don't mean to be rude, but there's some real food hogs here.  
  
(The Three Little Pigs are scarfing down all of the food)  
  
Cinderella: Well, I had some outside assistance.  
  
Fairy Godmother: (standing beside table waving wand) Bibbity Bobbity Boo! (Table refills itself)  
  
(a tea tray rolls by)  
  
Mrs. Potts: More tea for the princess?  
  
Cinderella: Yes please.  
  
(Meanwhile outside the castle.......)  
  
Wicked Queen: (in the shadows) Yes my dearies. Eat as much cobbler as you want. (Snickers) Soon your little dream ball will become a nightmare fantasmic! (evil cackle) 


	2. Princesses Apple Cobbler Trouble

Disclaimer: I don't own Disney or anything related to it.  
  
Chapter 2: Apple Cobbler + Princesses = Trouble  
  
Basil: Well, as you can probably see, the ball was going great. Everyone was eating, drinking, dancing and making merry. Strangely enough, the princesses seemed mysteriously drawn to the apple cobbler Minnie and Cinderella had been raving about. Coincidence? I think not. Anyhoo, the heroes are about to discover that the villains aren't as much of a distant threat as they had thought............  
  
(We pick up the action in another isolated corner of the ballroom (anyone seeing a pattern?) where King Mickey and Sir Donald are in deep conversation over security matters.........)  
  
Mickey: (looks at the clock tower, seeing it is 10 til midnight) Are you sure there's no indication of potential problems, Donald?  
  
Donald: Positive  
  
Mickey: I could breathe easier if we did one more inspection.  
  
Donald: But-  
  
Mickey: Who's the King?  
  
Donald: (unenthusiastically) You are.  
  
Mickey: And who's the captain of the guard?  
  
Donald: (sigh) I am.  
  
Mickey: And you do....  
  
Donald...whatever you tell me to do. I know, I know. Fine, one more inspection. *Into walkie-talkie* Glass Slipper, this is Magic Lamp, come in Glass Slipper.  
  
(out in the courtyard, we see a green army man from Toy story hiding in a rose bush with a large walkie-talkie)  
  
Army Man: Glass Slipper reporting for duty sir, over.  
  
Donald: Do you see anything Glass Slipper?  
  
Army Man: Negatory Magic Lamp, over.  
  
Donald: (to Mickey) Told ya so.  
  
Army Man: (hears Wicked Queen's evil cackle) Wait, I hear something. Sounds villainous to me.  
  
(Behind the Army Man is a mysterious shadowy figure....)  
  
Mysterious Shadowy Figure: Now, now. Can't have you spoiling all the fun. (picks army man up and shoves him in a bag)  
  
Donald: Glass Slipper! (no response) Glass Slipper! (No response) Crackers! We lost him!  
  
Mickey: Oh, no! The villains! Should we alert the public?  
  
Donald: Not yet. No need to cause widespread panic. (Into walkie-talkie) This is Magic Lamp. All men at arms. I repeat, all men at arms!  
  
Mickey: This could get messy.  
  
(we turn now to the buffet table, where we find Clarabelle Cow and Snow White conversing. Iago is not far behind.)  
  
Basil: (presses the "pause" button on his magical remote control) *Ahem* I believe I should explain the significance of the characters in front of you, well two of them anyway. Snow White doesn't really matter. Well, she does, but....not right now. Okay, anyhoo. That cow, no vulgarity intended, is a source of many problems throughout the course of this narrative, all of which you shall see later. Her name is Clarabelle and she is the head reporter for the Toontown Tattler, the FK's top selling tabloid magazine. That parrot there is her assistant. Rotten lot, the both of them. Well, anyway, their significance comes later in the tale..........so back to the ball! (Presses "play" button on his magical remote control.)  
  
Clarabelle: So, Snow...I hear you used to live with seven men. Is this allegation true?  
  
Snow White: Yes. (Smiles) The seven most adorable people I know.  
  
Clarabelle: (cringes at the painfully sweet tone of her voice) So.....anything kinky happen?  
  
Snow White: (gasp) How dare you! (Punches Clarabelle and then walks off)  
  
Clarabelle: Ouch. (Massages her snout)  
  
Iago: (flies over) Slow news night, huh?  
  
Clarabelle: No kidding. This has got to be the most boring press event since the beginning of time! These toons are so pure and sweet and politically correct. I practically have to cause my own chaos to get a story!  
  
Iago: Amen Sister!  
  
Clarabelle: Wait! That gives me a brilliant idea!  
  
Iago: You'd better not be thinkin' what I'm thinkin'...  
  
Clarabelle: (grins maliciously and pulls a bottle of vodka out of her purse) Have fun, toons! (Pours the vodka into the punch bowl)  
  
(Jessica Rabbit and Dumbo walk up)  
  
Jessica: Oh stop it Dumbo, you're too much!  
  
Dumbo: (blushes)  
  
Jessica: (caresses his trunk) Why don't you mosy on over to my place some time? (hands him a cup of punch)  
  
Dumbo: (drinks punch and gets very tipsy) *hiccup*  
  
(Daisy and Scrooge are standing nearby)  
  
Scrooge: (laughs) What a dunce!  
  
Daisy: (hits him) Scrooge!  
  
Jessica: (gasps in horror at Dumbo)  
  
Clarabelle: (takes out camera and rapidly shoots pictures)  
  
Daisy: Clarabelle! You spiked the punch, didn't you!  
  
Clarabelle: Maybe...  
  
Daisy: (swats her with her purse)  
  
Clarabelle: Watch it sister! I bet I could dig up some dirt on you! Come on, Iago. We're leaving. (Stomps off in an angry rage. Iago follows her)  
  
Roger: Oh Jessica!  
  
Jessica: (under her breath) Oh, great. (to Roger) Coming schnookums. (to Dumbo) Call me. (Walks away)  
  
Daisy: You know, I think Roger deserves better than that tramp!  
  
Tramp: (pads up) Yes...  
  
Daisy: Oh no, I wasn't talking to you dear.  
  
Tramp: Okay...(walks away)  
  
Daisy: She's always runnin' around with other men...and elephants....  
  
Scrooge: Well, if he doesn't want her, I'll take her! (meanwhile, on the balcony....)  
  
Meg: Oh Wonder Boy, I wish you were here. I miss you so much. *Sigh* what's the use? Not like he can hear me...  
  
Ariel: (walks out onto the balcony) Hey Meg. Why aren't you inside? We're having a great time! (Looks out into the sky) Oh.... you miss him don't you. Well, I'm sure he misses you too, wherever he is...  
  
Meg: What do you know?! You're knight in shining armor is here! (Looks inside at Eric) Oh, Ariel, I didn't mean it.  
  
Ariel: It's okay Meg. I guess balls aren't much fun alone.  
  
Meg: Oh well. I'm a big girl. I can tie my own sandals and everything. (Clock tower chimes midnight)  
  
Mysterious voice in the Wind: It's time...  
  
Meg: Ariel? (Turns around and sees Ariel out cold on the floor) Ariel!  
  
(a great commotion suddenly occurs inside. It turns out all the princesses are out on the floor)  
  
Timon: Tatiana! Wake up!  
  
Simba: Kiara! Are you ok?  
  
Beast: (gently picks up Belle's head) No. NOO!!!!!  
  
Kuzco: (dumps punch on Jasmine's head) Earth to Jasmine!  
  
Jessica: Kuzco! That's not going to help her!  
  
Minnie: I feel very... (Passes out on the floor)  
  
Cinderella: Me too.... (Passes out beside her)  
  
Aurora: Yes! It worked!  
  
(everyone looks at her. Suddenly, another Aurora walkis into the room)  
  
Other Aurora: Sorry I'm late everybody. I was trying to open my door, and then I realized it was bolted shut! So then I- (looks at "Aurora") Wait a minute......  
  
Mickey: This can only mean one thing.....  
  
Aurora that spoke first: You're correct Mickey (transforms into Madame Mim)  
  
(everyone gasps)  
  
Donald: Move men! Move!  
  
(army men swarm the castle)  
  
Mickey: Surely there's not just one of them.  
  
(Phillip reveals himself to be Jafar)  
  
Jafar: Prepare for pain! (starts shooting magic spells everywhere with the help of Mim)  
  
Donald: We've got this taken care of! Go hide Mickey!  
  
Mickey: Are you sure?  
  
Donald: Yes!  
  
(Mickey runs to the wine cellar)  
  
Jafar: Mim! Follow him!  
  
Mim: Aye aye cap'n!  
  
(Mim chases him)  
  
(meanwhile in the cellar....)  
  
Mysterious Shadowy Figure from earlier: Yes.....run Mickey. I've got you exactly where I want you.  
  
(back in the ballroom...)  
  
Ursula: (materializes) Muah hahahahaha!!!! You pathetic fools! There's nothing you can do to stop us now!!!!  
  
Donald: Oh great. (charges at Ursula and yells)  
  
(suddenly, a cannonball flies through the wall. A pirate ship can be seen in the lake by the castle)  
  
Captain Hook: (from the ship) Come out and fight you yellow bellied cowards!  
  
Beast: (yelling back at him) What do you think we're doing?!  
  
(the ship shoots another cannonball and Beast hurdles himself towards the opposite wall to avoid being hit)  
  
Daisy: Oh no, we're being attacked!  
  
Scrooge: Way to state the obvious!  
  
Kuzco: (trying to ward Jafar off) Back evil sorecer dude, back!  
  
Jafar: (snickers) Pathetic really. You call yourself an emporer?  
  
(Again in the cellar)  
  
Mickey: (opens door and goes inside) Whoo! That was close.  
  
Mysterious Shadowy Figure: You have no idea.  
  
Mickey: No! Not you!  
  
Mysterious Shadowy Figure: (evil laughter) Good-bye Mickey! (Shoves Mickey into a bag and disappears, leaving a note behind)  
  
Mim: (bursts into the room) Nowhere to hide now Mousy! (looks around) Well, where did he go? Mickey? Mickey! Come out come out where ever you are! (sees a piece of paper and picks it up) oooooo what's this? (examines it, seeing a message composed of letters cut from a magazine)  
  
(Reading it aloud..)  
  
iF yOu EvEr WaNt To SeE yOuR pReCiOuS mOuSe AgAiN......TOO BAD, YOU WON'T!  
  
Mim: Uh oh... 


	3. But What About Mickey

Disclaimer: I own nothing.  
  
Chapter 3: But What About Mickey?!  
  
(Back in the ballroom, the heroes are putting a valiant struggle against the villains. Now, Captain Hook and his pirates are storming the castle)  
  
Goofy: (trying to fight off the pirates) Ahyuck, this isn't looking good for me.  
  
Random Pirate: You can say that again.  
  
Goofy: Okay. Ahyuck, this isn't looking good for me.  
  
Random Pirate: Ah, shut your piehole.  
  
(Ursula had caught Aurora in her tentacles and Nala is trying to free her)  
  
Aurora: Help! Help!  
  
Nala: (frantically clawing at her tentacles)  
  
Ursula: You fool! You can't stop me! I am invincible! Muah hahahahahaha!  
  
Nala: We'll see about that! (Goes for her throat)  
  
(Jafar and Kuzco are still fighting. Well, Jafar's fighting. Kuzco's running.)  
  
Jafar: (shoots a ball of fire at Kuzco) Come back and fight!!  
  
Kuzco: Ahhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Runs away and screams like a girl scout getting mugged)  
  
Mim: (runs up the stairs) Oh, dear. What am I gonna say? What am I gonna do? (runs to Jafar and whispers something in his ear)  
  
Jafar: Mim, can't you see I'm............YOU WHAT!  
  
Mim: Not my fault.  
  
Jafar: (sigh) Come, we're leaving. (he disappears)  
  
Ursula: Huh? (Sees Jafar leave and disappears, dropping Aurora on her head)  
  
Aurora: (massages head) Ouch...  
  
(the Pirates jump out of the hole they put in the wall and row away on the ship)  
  
Goofy: Alright guys! We did it! We beat the villains!  
  
Everyone: Yay!  
  
Donald: Uh, Goofy, I wouldn't really count that as beating them.........  
  
Goofy: Well, they all left, didn't they?  
  
Meg: Something's not right..  
  
Timon: Uh, earth to everyone, we still have a problem here... (Points to the princesses on the ground)  
  
Donald: Oh yeah...I forgot about them......  
  
(Everyone gasps)  
  
Donald: Just kidding!  
  
(Sigh of relief)  
  
Merlin: (steps up from the crowd) I believe I can be of some assistance here.  
  
Simba: Hey, where were you during the battle?  
  
Kuzco: Yeah, you coulda helped me when that "all powerful sorcerer" guy was tanning my hide!  
  
Merlin: I was here.........  
  
Donald: Sure.....  
  
Timon: Look, am I the only one who cares that my fiancée is unconscious?!  
  
Simba: Yeah, and my daughter.  
  
Sultan: And MY daughter.  
  
Eric: And my wife.  
  
Goofy: And the Queen!  
  
Merlin: Okay, okay, I know! Speaking of the queen, would you be so kind, Goofy, as to go and get Mickey from the wine cellar?  
  
Goofy: Sure- Wait a minute...........how do you know where King Mickey is?  
  
Merlin: Because I have magic powers. I know everything.  
  
Goofy: Riiiight..........Ahyuck! Okay! (runs off)  
  
Merlin: Now, about the princesses......  
  
Daisy: Yes, what's wrong with them?  
  
Merlin: I was getting to that.......  
  
Daisy: Oh, sorry....  
  
Merlin: Now I have a guess as to why they are passes out, but I need to be sure. (walks over to Cinderella and waves his staff over her) Just as I suspected.........the Spell of Sleeping Death!  
  
(everyone gasps)  
  
Beast: (runs over to Belle) No! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!  
  
Timon: Are-are they gonna be okay?  
  
Merlin: Well, the cure is true love's first kiss.....  
  
Simba: (pads over to Kiara and nudges her) Are you sure that's the only way?  
  
Merlin: Well.........that's the preferred way. I really don't like taking shortcuts, but......this is a special occasion. (waves his staff) Higgitus Figgitus!  
  
(the princesses awake)  
  
Timon: Tatiana! (hugs her)  
  
Tatiana: What happened?  
  
Timon: I don't really know....  
  
Beast: Belle, y-you're okay.  
  
Belle: Of course I am. (smiles)  
  
(similar scenes appear all over the ballroom)  
  
Cinderella: (yawn) Whoo! I feel refreshed! I feel like I've been asleep for ages. What happened?  
  
Merlin: I'm still not quite sure, but I'm guessing it all goes back to.........(the apple cobbler glows green)  
  
Cinderella: I knew it! That old crone was evil!  
  
Meg: (sighs and massages her forehead) Princesses.  
  
Minnie: Where's Mickey?  
  
Donald: He's been hiding in the wine cellar. Don't worry, Goofy's gone to get him.....  
  
(in the wine cellar)  
  
Goofy: Ahyuk! Mickey! Mickey! It's me, Goofy! Mickey? Gawrsh, where did he go? (sees the sheet of paper on the floor) Ahyuk, what's that? (picks it up and reads it) Uh oh.  
  
(Goofy runs back to the ballroom)  
  
Goofy: Everybody! Mickey's been mousenapped!  
  
(everyone gasps (again..............))  
  
Minnie: (faints) 


	4. Evil People and Troublesome Tabloids

A/n: I own nothing! Sue me and I'll win! (evil laughter)  
  
Chapter 4: Evil People and Troublesome Tabloids!  
  
Basil: Hey, look, it's the readers! Long time no see! Not really, it was a pretty short chapter. Anyway, as you have seen, living in the Fantasmic Kingdom is not all fun and games. Evil runs amuck, and they're always up to something as seen here........  
  
(we see the villains congregated in the Underworld. They are all standing in complete silence as Maleficent paces back in forth)  
  
Maleficent: (Paces) So, what do have to say for yourselves.  
  
Jafar: Ask Mim, it was her responsibility to nab the mouse.  
  
Frollo: Now, now Jafar. Let's not point fingers.  
  
Mim: Yeah. Anyway, it's not my fault.  
  
Jafar: Liar! If youd've moved a little quicker, youd've seen who took him, and you could've stopped them!  
  
Mim: Shut up!  
  
Jafar: Make me!  
  
Scar: What I don't understand is how someone else took him if WE'RE the only villains in this place?  
  
Cruella: Maybe nobody took him, maybe he staged his own disappearance!  
  
Ursula: Don't be ridiculous! He's a hero, they're not that smart.  
  
Maleficent: SILENCE! You embarrass me to no end! All you had to do was kidnap the mouse and kill the princesses! Is that too much to ask?!  
  
(all of the villains look at their shoes, ashamed)  
  
Oogie Boogie: Sorry, ma'am.  
  
Wicked Queen: (stepping out of the shadows, still in her old crone form) Well, look here Miss Diva. I did my part. I convinced the dimwitted princess to take the poisoned apple cobbler, and at midnight the princesses were all out cold!  
  
Hook: And I blasted a hole in the wall!  
  
Maleficent: Perhaps, but look at this! (an image appears in the middle of the room showing the princesses awake and the gaping hole in the wall resealed).  
  
WQ and Hook: WHAT?!  
  
Mim: It's all Merlin's doings!  
  
Hades: Look here, Mal, can I call ya Mal?  
  
Maleficent: NO!  
  
Hades: Anyway, no need to get your little horned head worked up over nothing. Remember, as long as you're on my side, you've got all the powers osf darkness at your disposal.  
  
Malefient: Don't be an idiot! I had them to begin with!  
  
Hades: Yeah, whatever. Believe watcha want. Anyway, I'm a god, and I can find Mickey for ya and snatch his soul to add to my personal collection. Then this whole kingdom thing'll be yours. Whaddaya say?  
  
Maleficent: Fine. Alright, I have an assignment for all of you. Find Mickey, bring him to me, and stop those wretched heroes from getting to him first!  
  
(meanwhile, in the Toontown Tattler Publication office)  
  
Clarabelle: Ruined! My whole career is ruined! The story of the century could have been all mine and I left 5 minutes before it happened. (sobs)  
  
Iago: (hands her a tissue)  
  
Clarabelle: Thanks you.  
  
Iago: Anytime.  
  
Clarabelle: (blows her nose really obnoxiously) And what do I have for the next issue people are gonna care about? Nothing! That's right, nothing.... besides a drunk elephant!  
  
Iago: Hey, that'll bring some revenue.  
  
Clarabelle: (sobs again) Might as well shut down now!  
  
Iago: Hey, don't be so glum. (sings) Grey skies are gonna clear up, put on a-  
  
Clarabelle: (strangles him)  
  
Iago: STOP! (she lets go) Thank you.  
  
Clarabelle: Anytime. (sigh) What to do, what to do?  
  
Iago: Easy. Cover Mickey's disappearance of course!  
  
Clarabelle: But how, HOW?!  
  
Iago: (scratches his chin) Well, we could follow the search party.....  
  
Clarabelle: Yes, yes! Brilliant! BRILLIANT! On location from the search for Mickey Mouse! Brought to you by Clarabelle Cow! I'm a genius!  
  
Iag: Hey, it was MY idea thank you!  
  
Clarabelle: That's nice Iago dear. I can just see the money rollin in now. Muah hahahahaha! Let's go!!!  
  
Iago: But they don't have a search party yet!  
  
Clarabelle: Who cares! We've got a story! (runs out the door with her camera and notepad)  
  
Iago: Wait for me!!!!! (flies after her) 


	5. The Search Party is formed

A/N: I don't own Disney, but I do own the magical remote control!  
  
Chapter 5: The Seacrch Party is Formed...........For the Most Part  
Basil: Oooooo...only one more chapter til I come in! Woohoo!  
  
(We see now Lady Titania and Lord Oberon standing........somewhere. They are in deep conversation....)  
  
Oberon: No! I won't hear it!  
  
Titania: Oberon, we must help them, they are in grave danger.  
  
Oberon: No! It's meddling!  
  
Titania: No......it's called protecting the world order. With Mickey gone, the universe is out of alignment. If we don't set it back.....bad things could ensue.  
  
Oberon: Like......  
  
Titania: Behold...... (she holds out her hand and an image plays in it) This is the kingdom witout Mickey. (destruction and darkness abound in the image)  
  
Oberon: Whoa, how did that happen?  
  
Titania: The villains took advantage of Minnie ruling the kingdom alone......They conquered the kingdom and fed everyone in it to sharks.  
  
Oberon: How original.........  
  
Titania: Dear, this is no time for sarcasm. You must allow me to help them.  
  
Oberon: Fine, fine. Help them if you must.  
  
Titania: Yay! (disappears)  
  
(meanwhile......in Mickey's Palace, two days after the disappearence)  
  
Donald: Minnie, we're doing all we can. We've had several leads, but they were all bogus.  
  
Minnie: (sob) I know, but could you try harder?  
  
Goofy: Ahyuck, we're sending the royal regiment to go find it.  
  
Merlin: (magically appearing) Why, that's quite unnecessary.  
  
Goofy: How did you-  
  
Merlin: Magic.  
  
Goofy: Ooooooo.....  
  
Minnie: W-what do you mean?  
  
Merlin: The royal regiment needs to stay here to protect you while you're in charge.  
  
Minnie: I-I'm in charge?  
  
Donald: You are the queen....  
  
Minnie: I suppose you're right.  
  
(Daisy and Cinderella step into the throne room)  
  
Daisy: Don't worry Minnie, we'll help you.  
  
Minnie: Really?  
  
Cinderella: Sure.  
  
Donald: But what about Mickey!  
  
Merlin: Well, we'll go out and find him of course!  
  
Donald: Oh, okay. (has a double take) Wait..............who's WE?!  
  
Merlin: Why, you, me, and Goofy!  
  
Goofy: Gawrsh, you want me to help find the king? I-I'm honored!  
  
Merlin: Well, I'm obviously running on limited resources.....  
  
Donald: Just the three of us?  
  
Merlin: No, the five of us!  
  
Goofy: (counts the people) One, two, three- hey, where's the other two?!  
  
Merlin: Why, they're not here yet, of course.  
  
Donald: Well, who are they?!  
  
Merlin: One is a little girl named Alice.  
  
Alice: (walks up) Hello everyone, sorry I'm late!  
  
Donald: (laughs) HER?! A little girl?! (laughs more)  
  
Alice: I'm afraid I don't see what's so funny.  
  
Goofy: (changing the subject) So where's the other one?  
  
Merlin: Well, we're going to have to go get him of course! He doesn't know about his part in our mission yet.  
  
Basil: That's me!  
  
Donald: Who said that?!  
  
Basil: Crud, forgot to press "pause"!  
  
Goofy: Ahyuk, pause?  
  
Basil: (presses "rewind" on the magical remote control) That never happened. (presses "play")  
  
Merlin: Alright let's go!  
  
Donald: Go where?  
  
Merlin: Wherever the journey takes us! (they leave)  
  
Minnie: (calling out behind them) Be careful!  
  
(meanwhile........elsewhere......)  
  
Maleficent: So, they're leaving the kingdom in charge of those three? (laughs) This shall indeed be easier than I thought it would be.  
  
Hades: (laughs) It's showtime! 


	6. The Great Mouse Detective and a message

A/N: I own Nothing. Nothing I own. Lalalalala (does a tap dance)  
  
Chapter 6: The Great Mouse Detective and a Message.....  
  
Basil: Okay, I can stop narrating now, since I'm actually in the story. Well.......almost. Let's show one more scene first......  
  
(near the castle)  
  
Clarabelle: Alright Iago, they're leaving. Let's follow them!  
  
Iago: Can anyone say stalking?!  
  
Clarabelle: Come now. Don't be silly. This isn't stalking, it's merely covering a story.......  
  
Iago: Whatever. (they go off and follow Merlin and co.)  
  
(on a dimly lit street in Toontown........just after dusk)  
  
Donald: Are we there yet?  
  
Merlin: Almost. (looks at a map) Aha, here we are. 221 Baker Street.  
  
Goofy: If you have magic powers, then how come we had to walk here? Couldn't you magically teleport us?  
  
Donald: Yeah!  
  
Merlin: You know, magic doesn't solve everything. If we let magic do everything for us, why, we'd be worthless individuals.  
  
Alice: (looks in the window) Oh, my. Melin, is our fifth party member the great Sherlock Holmes?!  
  
Merlin: Afraid not Alice. I believe you are looking at the wrong 221 Baker Street.  
  
Goofy: Ahyuk, well then where's the other one?  
  
Merlin: Well, we'll need some minor adjustments before we can see that. Higgitus Figgitus!  
  
(the whole party shrinks down to the size of........a mouse!)  
  
Alice: (has the strangest sense of deja vu) Oh dear.  
  
Donald: Okay, so we can't use magic to get to the house, but we can to come get our fifth party member?! I don't understand your sick, twisted sense of logic!  
  
Merlin: Well, I'm afraid we'd frighten the poor fellow. (goes and knocks on the door)  
  
Housekeeper: (answers it) Why hello there. May I help you?  
  
(she gives them an odd look)  
  
Merlin: Yes, we're hear to see Mr. Basil.  
  
Housekeeper: He's not here right now.....perhaps you'd like to wait inside until he gets in)  
  
Merlin: Well, I don't want to intrude......  
  
Housekeeper: No, no. It's fine.(she lets them in)  
  
Care for some tea or crumpets?  
  
All but Donald: No thank you.  
  
Donald: Yes please.  
  
Alice: (hits him) It's very rude to impose upon our hostess.  
  
Housekeeper: Oh no, it's not a problem. So......what brings you here?  
  
Goofy: We're-  
  
Merlin: (covers Goofy's mouth) We're here on top-secret business.  
  
Housekeeper: I see....well, I'll be back. (goes off into the kitchen)  
  
(the four guests have a seat on the couches and chairs in the room)  
  
Alice: I don't believe she likes us very much.  
  
Merlin: Oh no, no. She just wasn't expecting company.  
  
Goofy: Ahyuk, why is our mission so top secret?  
  
Merlin: No one must know we are in search of the King. Just think how disastrous it would be if the villains knew.  
  
Alice: Oh, dear!  
  
Donald: Ah, villains schmillains. They're no match for us.  
  
Alice: So, Merlin. Who exactly is this character we're picking up?  
  
Merlin: His name is Basil.  
  
(collective gasp)  
  
Goofy: It can't be-  
  
Alice: Certainly not-  
  
Donald: Isn't he the one who-  
  
Merlin: Yes, yes. We all know what happened. Unfortunately his heroic deeds and outstanding logic are often overshadowed by his notorious failure.  
  
Goofy: But I thought he was exiled....  
  
Merlin: No, he merely left his position. Rumors are a nasty thing aren't they.  
  
(the door opens to reveal Basil, he walks in)  
  
Basil: Hello all. (looks around and has a double take) Wait....what are all you doing-  
  
Merlin: Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Merlin, wizard extraordinaire! And this is Donald, Goofy and Alice.  
  
Basil: Pleasure....but why are you-  
  
Merlin: We are here to request a favor of you. We are representing Queen Minnie of the Fantasmic Kingdom and are-  
  
Basil: Oh, no. Leave! Go! Don't want anything to do with you!  
  
Merlin: But if you'll just-  
  
Basil: OUT!  
  
Merlin: Mr. Basil-  
  
Basil: Are you deaf?! Go away! Leave me be! I'm done working for the kingdom.  
  
Merlin: I don't want to do this, but.....Higgitus Figgitus!  
  
(a magical piece of duct tape covers Basil's mouth. He tries to take it off, but alas, it doesn't work.)  
  
Merlin: Now, will you kindly have a seat and listen to me?  
  
(Basil sits, slightly afraid of the strange wizard man)  
  
Merlin: We are here on a quest, and we need your assistance. It seems as though our leader, Mickey mouse has been-  
  
Goofy: (covers Merlin's mouth) Ahyuk, that's top secret.  
  
Donald: Ah, shut up.  
  
Merlin: My thoughts exactly.  
  
Goofy: (is confused)  
  
Merlin: Well, Mickey has been kidnapped and it is our job to find them. Now, I have been carefully analyzing the citizens of our kingdom to see the five most equipped people to solve this little mystery and save Mickey, and it seems you stood out. So, are you in.  
  
Basil: (points to the duct tape)  
  
Merlin: Oh, yes, sorry. (removes it)  
  
Basil: Absolutely not! Never in a million years.  
  
(a few minutes later outside Basil's house)  
  
Basil: I can't believe I'm doing this.  
  
Alice: Um, Merlin, sir. Would you mind putting us back to our regular size.  
  
Merlin: Oh, yes, I almost forgot. Higgitus Figgitus! (they all grow back to normal size)  
  
Basil: Bloody hell! I'm a giant!  
  
Merlin: Oops, better be putting you back to regular size.  
  
Alice: Oh, could you leave him the way it is. Otherwise it would be impossible to get around!  
  
Merlin: Oh, I suppose.  
  
Basil: Yay! I mean, I suppose if I must be in this little plot, it's the least you can do.  
  
Merlin: Well then, let's be off!  
  
Goofy: Err....to where?!  
  
Donald: Yeah, did ya think about that genius?!  
  
Merlin: Oh yes......I don't quite know where to start.  
  
(there is a mystical orb of light)  
  
Goofy (runs to it) Shiny!  
  
Donald: Stop! You don't know what it is! It could be eeeeeeeviiiil!  
  
Goofy: (hugs the orb)  
  
(the orb reveals itself to be Titania)  
  
Titania: (pushes Goofy) Get your slimy mortal paws off me!  
  
Donald: Who's that?  
  
Alice: (walks up to her) Are you an angel?  
  
Titania: Not even. Okay, listen. I am here to help you.  
  
Donald: Help us what?!  
  
Titania: Find Mickey you igmus!  
  
Donald: Oh, yeah........  
  
Titania: Anyway, your first step to finding the mouse lies in a field. Quiet and serene is this field, but within it, something unusual lies. Yes, a white rabbit in a trenchcoat runs. Follow him, and closer to Mickey you shall be. (disappears)  
  
Alice: Oh, no. Not there!  
  
Basil: Where?!  
  
Alice: (cries) Wonderland!  
  
Merlin: Well, let's start walking.  
  
Donald: Umm....Merlin, don't you think this is kind of an urgent situation.  
  
Merlin: Yes Donald. Why?  
  
Donald: Well, shouldn't magically get ourselves there before Mickey winds up dead?!  
  
Merlin: You've got a point. Higgitus Figgitus! (they disappear and teleport to Alice's House)  
  
(meanwhile, in Wonderland....)  
  
Mysterious Shadowy Figure: (dumps Mickey from the bag) We're here.  
  
Mickey: Why are you doing this you cruel, cruel individual!  
  
Mysterious Shadowy Figure: Because I hate you that's why!  
  
Mickey: (cries)  
  
Mysterious Shadowy Figure: (kicks Mickey) Shut up! Soon, you'll be out of your misery! Muah hahahahahahaha (coughing spell) Muah hahahahahahahaaaaaaa 


	7. Wonderboys and Rabbit Holes

A/n: Disclaimer: I don't own Disney, Avon, or plotholes. Have a nice day. WARNING: If you do feel offended by cruelty towards princesses, I suggest you skip the first part! (or the whole story....)  
  
Chapter 7: Wonderboys and Rabbit Holes  
  
(meanwhile in the castle......)  
  
Minnie: Oooooo....I'm worried about Mickey. I hope he's all right......  
  
Daisy: Listen, stop worrying. Merlin knows what he's doing.  
  
Cinderella: Yeah. Gosh, it's been 15 minutes since I did my hair. I think I'll do it again! (runs off and gets the royal hair person to do it)  
  
Daisy: Well, so much for her. Stupid, shallow princesses.  
  
Minnie: Hey, watch it. Cinderella's a nice person. Even though she is a bit shallow and self-conscious. At least her voice doesn't sound like fingernails on a chalkboard.  
  
Daisy: True.....  
  
(Snow White is outside singing)  
  
Daisy: Speaking of which......... (throws a rock out the window and it hits Snow White on the head) Keep it down out there!  
  
Snow White: (runs home crying)  
  
(knock on the throne room door)  
  
Minnie: Who is it?  
  
Voice from outside: The Avon Lady.....  
  
Minnie: Ooooo.....come in!  
  
(Maleficent and Hades walk in)  
  
Minnie: (gasps) You're not the Avon Lady! You're-  
  
Maleficent: Yes, I know who I am.  
  
Daisy: (marches up to Maleficent) What have you done with Mickey?!  
  
Maleficent: Hades, subdue her!  
  
Hades: (rather unenthusiastically) Yes oh mighty evil one. (points at Daisy and she passes out on the floor)  
  
Minnie: (gasps) I don't know how you got past the guards or even why you're here, but go away!  
  
Hades: Eh, sorry....don't believe you'll be getting rid of us that easily mousie babe.  
  
Minnie: What did you do with Mickey?  
  
Maleficent: (trying to avoid the fact that she didn't take him) That's for me to know and you to find out.  
  
Hades: So, anyway, more to the point. We're here to demand that you surrender your little kingdom thingee to us and we'll return lover boy to you unscathed.  
  
Minnie: (gasp) Never!  
  
Hades: Wrong answer!  
  
Maleficent: Now, now Hades. Give her majesty some time to think things over. The events that have recently occurred are quite overwhelming......  
  
Minnie: Leave! Go away!  
  
Maleficent: Very well. We will leave for now. But be warned, we shall return. Come Hades.  
  
Hades: (muttering) Nobody treats the lord of all that is evil like a pet rock.  
  
Maleficent: What did you say Hades?  
  
Hades: I said coming oh powerful mistress of evil.  
  
(they leave)  
  
Minnie: (is scared)  
  
(meanwhile on the streets of Toontown....)  
  
(toons are going about everyday business, but all are deeply affected by Mickey's mousenapping)  
  
Roger: Gone! Gone! Mickey's gone! We're all gonna die.  
  
Eilonwy: There, there Roger dear. Everything's going to be al right. (pats him on the head)  
  
Meg: Yeah, right. I bet Hades is already doing a victory dance......  
  
(a strange light is seen in the sky)  
  
Bianca: It's a bird!  
  
Huey: It's a plane!  
  
Mortimer Mouse: It's superman!  
  
Kuzco: Yeah, or not.....  
  
Scrooge: Hey, I thought you were supposed to be in Agrabah trying to win the love of fair Princess Jasmine.  
  
Kuzco: (notices the plothole) Whoops............ (leaves)  
  
(anyway, the light reveals itself to be.....)  
  
Meg: Wonderboy! Is it really you?!  
  
Hercules: Meg! (they embrace)  
  
Roger: Aww.......Kodak moment.......  
  
(okay, enough of that nonsense. Let's join our heroes on their quest)  
  
Merlin: Well, it appears we've found the quiet field. Now for the rabbit.  
  
Alice: He's around here somewhere....  
  
Basil: You seem to be quite knowledgeable in this area.  
  
Alice: Sadly yes.........  
  
Donald: Well, where is he?  
  
White Rabbit: (runs by) I'm Late! I'm Late for a very important date! No time to say hello, goodbye, I'm late! I'm late! I'm late!  
  
Alice: (sigh) That's him.  
  
(the rabbit runs into a rabbit hole)  
  
Basil: Odd. Never seen a rabbit in a trenchcoat and a pocketwatch.  
  
Goofy: Gawrsh, I haven't either.  
  
Alice: (sigh) I have.  
  
Donald: You tend to sigh alot.  
  
Merlin: Okay, let's stay on task! Follow that rabbit!  
  
(they run to the rabbithole)  
  
Basil: So do we just.........go in?  
  
Alice: Yes. (sobs) Oh no, no! You can't make me go back! I won't! I won't!  
  
Merlin: Well, we must I'm afraid. Bottoms up! (dives in)  
  
Basil: Me next! (jumps in)  
  
Goofy: Woohoo (jumps in)  
  
Alice: (in between sobs) No!  
  
Donald: Ah suck it up. (pushes her in and then jumps in after her)  
  
(the party is falling down a looooooooooong seemingly endless rabbit hole)  
  
Basil: (to Alice) So, does this thing ever end?  
  
Alice: Sadly.  
  
(they keep falling)  
  
TO BE CONTINUED  
  
A/N: Hope the Snow White rock thing wasn't too cruel.. 


	8. Down, Down the Rabbit Hole

A/N: I don't own Disney.  
  
Chapter 9: Down, Down, Down  
  
(our heroes are STILL falling down a seemingly endless, but well furnished rabbit hole)  
  
Goofy: (opens a cabinet) Mmmm.........strawberry preserves.  
  
Donald: Goofy! Mind your own business!  
  
Basil: (examines his watch) We've been falling for about 30 minutes now!  
  
Donald: Could you speed up the process, a little bit magic man!  
  
Merlin: Now, now. Things take time! It's an important life lesson! If you speed things up, then, well...you might as well already have one foot in the grave!  
  
Alice: Er.......Merlin, sir. I'm afraid I don't quite understand your reasoning.  
  
Merlin: Oh what's the use. Lousy simple-minded toons. (speeds up time, making them fall faster)  
  
Goofy: Woohoo! Ahyuk, put your hands up Donald! It's more fun that way!  
  
Donald: (is covering his eyes) Oh, brother.  
  
Alice: (hums "In A World of My Own")  
  
Basil: Something wrong, ma'am?  
  
Alice: Oh nothing. Just a little nervous that's all...  
  
Basil: Why?  
  
Alice: Why? (losing her calm composure) BECAUSE THEY'RE ALL MAD DOWN THERE, THAT'S WHY! IF I HAVE TO ENDURE WONDERLAND ONE MORE TIME, I'M GONNA WIND UP IN AN INSANE ASYLUM!  
  
Donald: (on his cell phone) Umm.....Michael? It's Donald. You might wanna cancel the Alice in Wonderland sequel. Mhm. Star's goin' a little insane. Well, what's wrong with that? There's plenty other sequels to make. Sleeping Beauty 2, Snow White 2, So Dear to My Heart 2, The Adventures of Icabod and Mr. Toad 2, Aladdin 4, you get the picture. Basil: No! Stop the madness!  
  
A/N: AMEN!  
  
(okay, after more inane rambling, our heroes finally land in a strange hall/passage lookin' thingee)  
  
White Rabbit: (is running)  
  
Merlin: After him! (they run after him. Eventually, the rabbit runs through a door far to small for them to get through)  
  
Donald: (to Merlin) I believe that's your cue.  
  
Merlin: Very well. Higgitus Figgitus! (they all shrink)  
  
Alice: Well, this is much easier than all that "Eat Me", "Drink Me" nonsense.  
  
Cheshire Cat: Much agreed.  
  
Alice: Yes- (turns around) Wait, why are you-  
  
Cheshire Cat: He went that way.  
  
Basil: Who?  
  
Cheshire Cat: Why the Mysterious Shadowy figure with Mickey Mouse in his bag.  
  
Basil: Which way did they go?  
  
Cheshire Cat: Which way did who go?  
  
Basil: The mysterious shadowy figure with Mickey Mouse in his bag!  
  
Cheshire Cat: What mysterious shadowy figure?  
  
Basil: The one you just told us about!  
  
Cheshire Cat: I did?  
  
Basil: Yes!  
  
Cheshire Cat: Yes what?  
  
Basil: Yes, you did tell me! Cheshire Cat: Tell you what?  
  
(an hour later)  
  
Basil: But you said-  
  
Cheshire Cat: No I didn't!  
  
Donald: May I make a suggestion! Forgot the cat and let's go find Mickey.  
  
Cheshire Cat: hehehehehe (disappears)  
  
Basil: That was pointless.  
  
Alice: Told you they were all mad.  
  
Merlin: Now, now. You can't judge an entire population by one bad egg.  
  
Alice: Oh, believe me. You can.  
  
Donald: Does anyone else care that we've let Mickey's captor get an hour and 30 minutes ahead of us!  
  
Merlin: Oh, my! It seems as though we have. Come quickly! (they run through the small door, whic seems like a regular-sized door now. It leads to a strange forest.)  
  
A/N: Yes, I know it's supposed to be the room with the talking doorknob, but.....forget him! This chapter's gonna be long enough as it is.....  
  
(the Cheshire Cat's eyes and mouth appear)  
  
Cheshire Cat: (sings as his whole body reveals itself again) 'Twas brilling and the slythy toves.......  
  
Alice: Ugh! Don't make eye contact! Maybe he'll go away!  
  
Cheshire Cat: No need to be so cruel.  
  
Alice: (covers her eyes) Go away!  
  
Goofy: Gawrsh, Alice. That's not very nice.  
  
Cheshire Cat: Beware of darkness, for within it, danger lies!  
  
Basil: What sort of danger?!  
  
Cheshire Cat: (sings again) And the momeraths outgrabe....(disappears)  
  
Basil: Well, that was no help.  
  
Merlin: You never know...........  
  
(a patch of darkness in the woods is visible)  
  
Goofy: (sees a butterfly) Ooooo....pretty flutterby! (chases it into the patch of darkness)  
  
Donald: (slaps his forehead) D'oh! Goofy! (runs after him)  
  
Merlin: Well, can't let them get themselves into too much trouble.  
  
(Merlin, Alice, and Basil run after them)  
  
(in the dark patch)  
  
Goofy: Uh oh!  
  
Frollo: (steps up and laughs evily) Yes........my thoughts exactly.  
  
Merlin: (gasps) Judge Claud Frollo!  
  
Frollo: Yes. That would be me.  
  
Alice: Why are you in Wonderland?  
  
Frollo: To stop you from finding Mickey!  
  
Donald: Attack!  
  
Frollo: But I'm not armed! No, you aren't supposed to do this! (Basil, Alice, Donald, and  
  
Goofy jump on him and start flinging punches)  
  
Merlin: Dear, dear, how I do dislike violence.  
  
Donald: Villains defeated: 1!  
  
(all cheer but Merlin)  
  
Merlin: Well, this certainly strengthens my suspicion that the villains are behind this all!  
  
Donald: Way to state the obvious.  
  
Mysterious Shadowy Figure: (is watching from behind one of the oddly misshapen trees)  
  
So naive..........(snickers)  
  
(meanwhile....)  
  
Merlin: (sees smoke) Hmm....very suspicious.........  
  
Basil: (extinguishes pipe) Sorry.  
  
(the smoke contines rising through the trees)  
  
Merlin: No, no. It's something else. (hthey all follow it)  
  
Alice: I think I know it's origin.........  
  
(they stumble upon a caterpillar on a mushroom smoking a hooka)  
  
Caterpillar: Whooooo are yoooooou. (smoke rings representing vowels fly at them)  
  
Basil: Okay, nothing to see here. (they leave)  
  
Alice: Thank you.  
  
Goofy: (points) Oh look, the rabbit!  
  
Merlin: Follow it!  
  
(as they are running after it....)  
  
Basil: Excuse me Merlin, but why must we continually follow the rabbit?  
  
Merlin: Well......I don't know. Maybe he knows where Mickey is...........?  
  
Alice: (sigh)  
  
(they reach a clearing where a tea party is going on.....)  
  
Alice: Okay, let's leave. Nothing to see here.......  
  
Goofy: Tea parties?! I love tea parties! (runs to the table)  
  
Alice: Oh no.  
  
(the rabbit runs to the table)  
  
Rabbit: Erm, excuse me Mr. Hatter sir........ About my watch.  
  
Mad Hatter: Oh an easy repair indeed, just a little bit of...(puts jelly on the watch)......and a lot of.....(dumps gobs of sugar on the watch)......good as new  
  
March Hare: Yes, indeed.  
  
Dormouse: (kind of waking up) Treacle.  
  
Rabbit: No! No! You've ruined it!  
  
March Hare: Now, I do believe that's quite rude.  
  
Mad hatter: Much agreed. I shall never help you again if you insist upon being so ungrateful.  
  
Rabbit: Good! I'm leaving!  
  
Mad Hatter: Don't be in such a hurry! (makes him sit in a chair around the table) Stay for tea!  
  
Rabbit: But I'm late!  
  
March Hare: Who invited him! How rude!  
  
Mad Hatter: I agree! (to Rabbit) How dare you impose upon our party without being  
  
invited! Go away!  
  
Rabbit: But you-  
  
March Hare: I won't here it!  
  
(the Rabbit runs away)  
  
Merlin: Follow him!  
  
Basil: But what about Goofy....  
  
(Goofy is conversing with the Mad Hatter)  
  
Goofy: Can me and my buddies join you for tea.  
  
March Hare: No! Sorry! Not enough room!  
  
Goofy: (counts the five empty chairs) Ahyuk, sillies. There's plenty of room for  
  
everyone! C'mon guys!  
  
(they all head over)  
  
Alice: I'll pass.  
  
Donald: Ah, Alice. Don't be such a spoilsport.  
  
Mad Hatter: Oh, look, it's the rude girl. (points at Alice) And you must be her friends.  
  
March Hare: No wonder. Inviting themselves to tea. Tsk tsk.  
  
Goofy: But you invited-  
  
Mad Hatter: How is a raven like a writing desk?  
  
Goofy: Gawrsh! I dunno. Ask Merlin, he's smart!  
  
Merlin: Hmm.....how is a raven like a writing desk.....well, in terms of grammar, raven and writing share the same primary consonant sound, "R" and-  
  
Mad Hatter: What time of the month is it?  
  
Goofy: Gawrsh, I don't know.  
  
Basil: I believe it's the twelfth.  
  
Mad Hatter: (examines his watch) Alas. Two days off.  
  
March Hare: I told you it was.  
  
Basil: Wait, your watch tells days but not time?  
  
Mad Hatter: Yes....and why wouldn't it?  
  
Alice: (buries her head in her hands)  
  
Mad Hatter: Have you guessed the riddle yet?  
  
Merlin: Yes, I al ready stated the answer...  
  
Mad hatter: WRONG!  
  
Donald: Well then what is it?  
  
Mad Hatter: I haven't the slightest idea.  
  
Donald: Well then why did you ask it?!  
  
March Hare: And why did you come to tea uninvited?!  
  
Mad Hatter: So many questions.....  
  
Dormouse: Twinkle, twinkle little bat! How I wonder what you're at!  
  
Goofy: No silly, those aren't the words! It goes. (clears throat and sings) Twinkle, Twinkle, little star! How I wonder what you are!  
  
March Hare: Are you quite finished?  
  
Goofy: No, I-  
  
March Hare: Thank you, sit down!  
  
Goofy: Ok! (sits down)  
  
Dormouse: Up above the world so high! Like a tea tray in the sky!  
  
Goofy: That's not right either......  
  
Mad Hatter: Nobody asked you!  
  
March Hare: Or invited you.  
  
(the Dormouse falls asleep again)  
  
Mad Hatter: You'll never guess what today is!  
  
Goofy: Ahyuk, what day is it?!  
  
Mad Hatter: My unbirthday!  
  
March Hare: (gasps) It's my unbirthday too!  
  
Mad Hatter: No!  
  
March Hare: Yes!  
  
Goofy: And mine!  
  
Donald: And mine!  
  
Basil: And mine!  
  
Merlin: Why, I believe it is mine as well!  
  
Alice: (sigh) No comment.  
  
Mad Hatter: A very merry unbirthday to you!  
  
(the insane singing continues. Our heroes manage to sneak out in the process)  
  
Goofy: Ahyuk! That was fun!  
  
Basil: Insane one you are.  
  
Alice: Can we leave yet?  
  
(they see the rabbit)  
  
Merlin: After him!  
  
(they follow him to a croquet green........)  
  
Alice: (shrieks) Somebody pinch me! I'm having a nightmare!  
  
Card: (walks up) Here for the tournament?  
  
Merlin: Actually we're-  
  
Card: Splendid! Follow me!  
  
(the group walks behind him to where the tournament is being held. Many odd contestants are seen, all looking afraid.)  
  
Queen of Hearts: (walks up) What is the meaning of this! Off with their heads!  
  
Random Person: For what?  
  
Queen of Hearts: Don't question me! Off with their heads!  
  
(the card guards round them up and take them away)  
  
Queen of Hearts: (walks up to our heroes) Are you today's contestants.  
  
Merlin: No. Actually we're-  
  
Queen of Hearts: Good.......... Now follow me.  
  
(they go over to a rack of birds)  
  
Queen of Hearts: Pick a club.  
  
Basil: Sorry, I don't see any..........  
  
Queen of Hearts: Off with his head!  
  
Basil: Just kidding......  
  
Queen of Hearts: Scratch that.  
  
Basil: (goes over to Alice) What do I do?  
  
Alice: (whispers) The birds......  
  
Basil: Ohh...........(picks up a bird and prepares to play croquet)  
  
Queen of Hearts: I pick.......this one! (picks up Donald)  
  
Donald: Hey, lady! I'm not a club!  
  
(she straightens him out)  
  
Queen of Hearts: Let's play! (picks up a hedgehog to use as a ball) Heads up! (hits the hedgehog with Donald)  
  
Donald: Yoweeee!  
  
(ball flies out of the green)  
  
Queen of Hearts: Whoopsies......  
  
Alice: No! I'm not playing! (a card guard hands her a flamingo) Ugh. (she hits her hedgehog through the horseshoe looking things.........)  
  
Queen of Hearts: (gasp) WHAT?! OFF WITH THEIR HEADS! (the guards seize our heroes)  
  
White Rabbit: (blows his trumpet) Trial in session!  
  
Basil: Trial? What trial!  
  
(a courtroom magically appears)  
  
(the Queen is violently swinging Donald around)  
  
Donald: WAAAAAAAAAACK  
  
Queen: (sets Donald down and gets up on her judge's loft) Bring in the first witness!  
  
(the Mad Hatter walks in)  
  
Queen: Present your evidence!  
  
Mad Hatter: Well, they-  
  
Queen: Good enough for me! Jurors have you reached a verdict?!  
  
Merlin: That, ma'am, is NOT a fair trial!  
  
Queen: Fair? Who said anything about fair?!  
  
Head Juror: (he is a salamander) We the jury find the defendants not guilty!  
  
(the court goes into an uproar. Our heroes celebrate)  
  
Queen: SILENCE! (silence) As the queen, I have the right to overrule that verdict and I choose to do so! Therefore the defendants are GUILTY AS CHARGED!  
  
Basil: Excuse me, ma'am, but exactly what were we on trial for?  
  
Queen: I, umm......don't know. However, it is now time for the sentencing! I sentence you all to a beheading! Off with their heads!  
  
Alice: No! Just because you're the queen doesn't give you the right to be so.....so mean!  
  
Queen: SILENCE! Guards, take them away! (the guards do)  
  
Donald: Oh, no! What am I going to do?! I have to save my friends.........and we still haven't found Mickey!  
  
(speaking of Mickey...)  
  
Mysterious Shadowy Figure: It appears your friends are here to save you.  
  
Mickey: Haha. I told you you wouldn't get away with this!  
  
Mysterious Shadowy Figure: Don't be so sure of yourself! (malicious laughter)  
  
TO BE CONTINIUED 


	9. Crime and Punishment

A/N: Disney isn't mine. If it were then I wouldn't be sitting here writing a fan fic. I'd be taking over the world. (evil laugher)  
  
Chapter 9: Crime and Punishment  
  
(when we last left our heroes, they were sentenced to a beheading by the Queen. Let's join them now in their prison cell...)  
  
Basil: Merlin, can you PLEASE magic us out of here? She's going to chop off our heads!  
  
Alice: I do fear that we won't be very helpful to Mickey without our heads.  
  
Merlin: Well..I don't know. We did break the law and therefore must face the consequences.  
  
Alice: But there is no law to break! That woman is tyrannical! Insane I tell you! Mad! MAD! All she wants to do is behead people and she'll make any excuse to do it!  
  
Basil: (winces)  
  
Merlin: Hmm....you may very well have a point....no.  
  
Goofy: But what about Mickey?!  
  
Merlin: I'm afraid we have to make some sacrifices to get what we want..  
  
(meanwhile in the aforementioned rabbit hole...)  
  
Clarabelle: Ooooooooo...this is something you don't see everyday. (takes pictures of the furniture as she falls)  
  
Iago: (covers the lens with his wing) Hey! Stop wasting film! We're here to cover Mickey's abduction, not take pictures of airborne furniture!  
  
Clarabelle: Iago! Look! You ruined my picture!  
  
Iago: Aye, aye, aye! The things I do for money..  
  
(they finally land)  
  
Clarabelle: (lands with a thud) Oomph!  
  
Iago: (flies gently to the ground) So where to now, Magellan?  
  
Clarabelle: Umm....(sees an opening in the floor) There!  
  
(meanwhile........)  
  
Donald: (sneaks into the prison ward) Ooooo..what do I do? Where are they? (goes through rows and rows of jail cells full or prisoners awaiting decapitation, but alas, no sign of Merlin, Alice, Basil, or Goofy) Merlin! Goofy! Alice! Basil! Hello?  
  
Alice: Donald! We're over here!  
  
Donald: (runs over to her)  
  
Alice: Can you help us?  
  
Donald: (tugs at the bars to no avail) Sorry!  
  
Merlin: I have a solution! (turns Donald into a key, picks up the key, and then unlocks the lock to set them free) Now, let's go!  
  
Alice: Merlin, sir, I'm afraid I still don't quite understand.  
  
Merlin: Understand what?  
  
Alice: Nevermind....  
  
(meanwhile..)  
  
Mysterious Shadowy Figure: Curse those pathetic protagonists! They're ruining everything. They're supposed to be beheaded and leave me alone!  
  
Mickey Mouse: Yeah, well they're good guys and good triumphs over evil!  
  
Mysterious: Aww....how charming and simplistic your ideals are. (smacks Mickey over the head with a frying pan) Why are my enemies far less intelligent than I...?  
  
(in Avalon..)  
  
Oberon: So, has your little tip service worked?  
  
Titania: Unfortunately no. It seems the heroes have found themselves imprisoned. (sigh) I do fear my mission is hopeless.....  
  
Oberon: What did I tell you about meddling?  
  
Titania: Nothing! You just told me not to do it because you're a stubborn old fart!  
  
Oberon: Oh yes I nearly forgot....  
  
(Ok, now that that's over, let's look at what our five favorite people in the world are up to...)  
  
(we see Jump 5, one of the author's favorite performing groups, singing to a billion screaming fans)  
  
(Whoops...wrong five people....)  
  
(we now see Merlin, Donald, Alice, etc. sneaking around the cell block)  
  
Goofy: Gawrsh, I hope we don't get caught...  
  
Basil: Rule number five of being a good detective...always stay one step ahead of the enemy.  
  
(a rather large army of card guards appears in front of them)  
  
Basil: Rule number 6, when in danger, RUN!  
  
(they run away screaming, being pursued by the cards. All of this is being done to the lively melodies of "The March of the Cards".)  
  
(Suddenly, our heroes are cornered!)  
  
Donald: Uh oh! Now what do we do?  
  
(all look at Merlin)  
  
Merlin: Let me think about this...  
  
(just then, Clarabelle and Iago fall from the ceiling and land on the guards, in turn squishing them)  
  
Clarabelle: My, my, my! Who'd have ever thought that trapdoor would lead out here?  
  
Iago: Not Me!  
  
Goofy: (is confused)  
  
(all celebrate)  
  
Basil: Wait! Not you two!  
  
Iago: Who, us?  
  
Donald: No, the other two. Clarabelle: Oh, ok.  
  
Donald: It's called sarcasm! It's not unheard of!  
  
Clarabelle: Well, aren't you just the wittiest waterfowl I ever saw.  
  
Goofy: Hey! Nobody talks to my buddy that way!  
  
Iago: Tough luck fido!  
  
Goofy: And my name's not fido. it's Goofy!  
  
Iago: Ay, ay, ay. I'm surrounded by idiots!  
  
(everyone has a strange sense of déjà vu)  
  
Clarabelle: That's nice Iago dear. Now, to the point! (snaps pictures rapidly)  
  
Goofy: Ah! My eyes! Blinding!  
  
Merlin: Ma'am, I must ask you to stop!  
  
(she continues)  
  
Ma'am! Ma'am? MA'AM!!!!!! Ugh! Higgitus Figgitus!  
  
(her camera turns into a porcupine)  
  
Clarabelle: Yaooooooooow! (drops the porcupine) Don't think you've seen the last of me pal! Come Iago, we're leaving.  
  
Iago: Isn't this why we came to begin with?  
  
Clarabelle: No..yes...shut up! (they leave)  
  
Donald: Merlin, I don't get you!  
  
Alice: Basil, who were those people?  
  
Basil: Reporters for a tabloid. Rotten lot. They gave me beef when I was searching for Oswald.  
  
(awkward silence)  
  
Basil: Anyway, on to Mickey!  
  
Titania: (appears) You won't find him here...  
  
Donald: Whoa, where did you come from..?  
  
Titania: Outer space. Anyway, the evil one has fled.  
  
Goofy: You're an alien?  
  
Titania:....  
  
Alice: Well where's Mickey?  
  
Titania: Beyond the sandy deserts is where you shall find him now...  
  
Alice: Easy, Agrabah!  
  
Titania: Way to go smart one. Maybe you oughta teach dim-wit over here a lesson or two.  
  
(she vanishes)  
  
(meanwhile in the Underworld....)  
  
Hades: (at his evil plotting table) Rats! We're one man down!  
  
Maleficent: No great loss. The judge was merely a first stumbling block. The real enemies come later..  
  
Hades: Yeah, thanks for retellin' me my plan that I came up with!  
  
Maleficent: Believe what you will Hades. We all know I am the one true evil mastermind.  
  
Hades: Not listening.  
  
Maleficent: (ignores him) It seems Mickey's captor is headed toward Agrabah. As are the heroes. I shall alert Jafar. Not to great a task for him I believe....  
  
Hades: Ya, sure. So, what do we do next?  
  
Maleficent: Easy. Go and harass Minnie again. (evil laughter)  
  
Hades: Whoa, getting' kinda scary there, Mal  
  
Maleficent: Don't call me by that wretched nickname!  
  
Hades: K, whatever. Maleficent: To the Fantasmic Kingdom! 


	10. Arabian Nights

A/N: Yes..I've been disclaiming for the last nine chapters so...go back and read those if you really think I'm Micheal Eisner or something.....  
  
Anyhoo, I took the liberty or pretending the events of Aladdin have not yet happened so I could mutilate the storyline like I've always wanted to! (evil laughter)  
  
(Aladdin fans click on "back" in an angry huff)  
  
Chapter 10: Arabian Niiiiiiiiiiights  
  
(in the seemingly endless desert.....)  
  
Lamp Seller: (singing) Oh I come from a land, from a faraway place Where the caravan camels roam Where they cut off your ear If they don't like your face It's barbaric, but hey, it's home  
  
A/N: Haha take that all you pompous pro-politically correctness people!  
  
(our heroes appear and land on top of him, in turn squishing him and ending his song. **sigh** So much for the prologue..)  
  
Goofy: Whoo! I sure am glad we took the short way!  
  
Donald: Me too! (looks around) Gaw! Look at this place! There's no telling where Mickey is!  
  
Merlin: I'm sure he'll turn up eventually...  
  
Basil: Is anyone else ungodly hot?  
  
Jessica: (giggles) Yes..  
  
(all the guys stare)  
  
Alice: Er....does anyone else notice that she doesn't belong here!  
  
Merlin: Yes..that's nice Alice.  
  
(Jessica is still standing there looking hot, being the lust-object that she is)  
  
Alice: (squeal of frustration) Why must I always be the voice of reason? (she punches all the guys, who are slobbering like mindless animals) SNAP OUT OF IT!!!!!  
  
Merlin: Oh, yes, sorry. (they all come to their senses and massage their poor bruised foreheads)  
  
Jessica: Oh dear, I'm not supposed to be here! (disappears in a puff of logic)  
  
(the little dog laughed to see such a sight, and the dish ran away with the spoon)  
  
Donald: (looks strangely at the utensils running through the barren desert)  
  
Goofy: (runs after them)  
  
Basil: So....where to next?  
  
Merlin: Straight ahead to Agrabah, city of wonder and enchantment!  
  
(they walk through the desert until they come to the bustling city of Agrabah, looming under the spires of the Sultan's palace)  
  
(meanwhile, in Jafar's evil plotting room thingee...)  
  
Jafar: Hmmmm... what could I do to ruin Princess Jasmine's life and take Sultan's job...?  
  
(the doorbell rings)  
  
Jafar: Ooooo..mail call! (runs to the door and opens it)  
  
Hermes: Your mail sir..(hands him a wad of letters)  
  
Jafar: Why thank- wait, why are you-  
  
Hermes: Oh yeah, I'm fillin' in for the other mail dude. Ya know, I AM the messenger god. Well gotta jet, duty calls! (flies away)  
  
Jafar: (gives a puzzled look and shuts the door) Hmm..what do I have today? (shuffles through) Bill, bill, bill, oooo sale at the Evil Deeds Depot! More bills, more bills, bill, bill, bill (comes to a strange looking envelope with an evil looking letter-head) Hmm..  
  
(opens it)  
  
(reading aloud)  
  
Dearest Jafar,  
  
My sources tell me Mickey's captor and the royal search committee are within your city. You know what to do. Fail and I shall have your head served to me on a silver platter with a light caviar garnish. But let's not think about that, shall we?  
  
With Best Regards, Maleficent Oh, and Hades is here too.....  
  
(puts the letter down) Hehe it's time to shine! (runs over to his hourglass and places his fancy ring in it) Oh, Melody! Make me a storm!  
  
Melody: Yes, master.  
  
(she begins to pedal on Iago's old much to small bicycle. It seems that she was hired as Iago's replacement when he left Jafar to go into the tabloid business. Why? Because she's an evil sequel character and deserves to be PUNISHED that's why! **evil laugh**)  
  
(a sufficient storm has brewed)  
  
Jafar: Sands of time, show me Merlin, Donald, Goofy, etc.  
  
(he sees them enter Agrabah)  
  
Jafar: This shall be much too easy! MUAH HA HA HA HA!!!!! Now to go gain the Sultan's trust and take over the kingdom!  
  
(meanwhile, in Agrabah)  
  
Mysterious Shadowy Figure: We have arrived.  
  
Mickey: W-where are we?  
  
MSF: Umm...a place. Do you think I'm gonna tell you!?  
  
Mickey: Please stop yelling at me! (whimpers)  
  
MSF: You frustrate me Mickey Mouse! Sometimes I wonder if you were worth kidnapping. But, the rewards I'll get are endless! (evil laughter)  
  
Mickey: You...you MONSTER!  
  
MSF: (pokes Mickey with a stick and keeps laughing)  
  
A/N: Well, I intended for this to be longer, but a thunderstorm is brewing and I don't want to get electrocuted, so sorry for the briefness. TTFN! 


End file.
